An uncomfortable dilemma.

An hour ago, a group of young men kicked through our front door.  No, not kidding.  Matt, Ian, Richell, and Olivia were all in the front den at the time.  I was in the front bathroom.  When it happened Richell grabbed the baby and ran to the back den, my brother grabbed a hockey stick and he and Ian chased after them, and I ran into a front room to find it empty.  Not knowing if my family was safe.  Not knowing what had happened or if it was safe for me to be standing there.  Not knowing if someone snatched my baby, my husband, my sister-in-law, or my brother.  I looked into my empty front room with pieces of trim and plaster scattered on the floor and my front door swinging open into the night.

I am afraid to call out in case someone has come into the house, but I do it anyway because I need to know where my child is more than I need to be safe.  It is a terrible feeling.  And I hear her crying and I hear Richell crying and they are in the back and I don’t know where my husband is and when I find him I can’t see my brother and someone has kicked in my door.  Someone has kicked in my door and I could have been home alone with Olivia.  Someone has kicked in my door and instead of running away they could have come in.  Someone has kicked in my door and even though they are gone, I’m still scared.

How do I live here now?


8 responses to “An uncomfortable dilemma.

  • Craigge

    I wish I had been there, and I’m glad I wasn’t. If I had been, there would probably be lifeless bodies on your front porch. You can’t be happy and make a home where you don’t feel safe. If it takes moving to feel safe in your own home, then you probably need to move.

  • meeneemi

    I hope you find peace of mind soon…

  • Amy

    I want to be comforting and say everything is ok now and everything will be fine. But all I can see is Ian sitting at the kitchen table working away tiredly at his laptop, and you cozily relaxing with Olivia in the back watching a little tv like I’ve seen so many times before. I keep replaying different scenarios wondering how many steps into the house it would take to boost their confidence enough to not leave so quickly. I want to call you, but I don’t want you to hear just how worried I really am.
    I love you both oodles and want you safely sleeping here from now on.

  • Uncle Munkee

    I bet Matt was one of the scariest people you’d ever see with a hockey stick!

  • Elynka

    I don’t really know what to say. I am glad that you all are safe. I will keep you in my prayers.

  • aliasmother

    Egads. My heart goes out to you both. There isn’t a good answer to what you ask. You find a way to live there. You get a tougher door with megalocks. You get a dog. You get a security system. You find a way to empower yourself. But most of all you give yourself time to catch your breath before you make any decisions. Fear is a powerful motivator, but it can sometimes lead you astray if you let it take you over completely.

    I’ve been there (well, not THERE, but in similar situations) and I can tell you that it is possible to move on. Really.

  • Steph

    I am totally shocked. Ian walked in to the office as I was reading your post. Holy cow. We are thinking about you!

  • Tiffany

    Oh my gosh! I can’t imagine what you all must be going through – I second the comment of may peace be with you – you are definitely in my thoughts!!!

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