As you can see, our friends Jay and Steph had a beautiful, little boy last night. It was awesome for them. It was terrifying for me. I had the sudden realization that no matter what, in about 6 months I’m going to be having a baby. There wasn’t enough oxygen in that hospital for the panic attack that ensued. Ian just sat and laughed as I came to understand the fact that be it naturally or via surgically, I will be in the exact same position much sooner than I am comfortable with.
It only seems fair that I would dream up horrible scenarios about late pregnancy and childbirth afterwards. The first dream had me at the hospital with strong contractions but no dilation and no breaking water. To try to hurry things up a bit, the doc suggested I take a walk… through the woods. I waddled with Ian deep into the woods where, you guessed it, my water broke and I delivered my own baby while Ian looked at wildflowers.
The second dream, there was no childbirth. I was 9 months along and in spite of our doc’s dire warnings, Ian developed a deep seated need to see Mexico. So we drove out into the middle-of-nowhere, Mexico. We were passing through a small village with no real roads when Ian decides he is lost. He does donuts in the village square which make me very sick, so I hop out mid-loop. The local mob/mafia/crime lord gets mad at Ian’s donuts and chases my fat self around town. Ian finally picks me up and we get out of there. Only to run out of gas in the desert. I woke up before I gave birth on a sand dune or some such thing.
The gist of all this is, yay for the Hansens! And dear lord, what have I gotten myself into.