Author Archives: Susan

Susan’s take on things so far.

It’s an adventure here.  I don’t think I could be more of an alien had I landed on Mars and set up camp.  Olive and I stick out to the extent that people queue up to take pictures (mostly of her because she’s… well a daffodil among the violets).  I’m not joking.  I have a picture of people set up to take her pictures.  I know a little chunk of the language.  Enough to be polite.  Enough to make my needs known and be kind about it.  Enough to make it on a daily basis.  I am taking lessons, but the growth is tortuously slow.  Even if I learned the language to a native level, I would never fit in here.

At heart, I come from a small town.  My mind expects a certain amount of space.  It isn’t here.  Tokyo hasn’t been a small town for about a thousand years.  There is the most interesting blend of ancient and modern.  The juxtaposition is sometimes jarring.  There are shrines everywhere.  They are wedged between skyscrapers.  They are several centuries old and they sit randomly next to neon lights and shopping malls.  There is no land left unused.  There are people, buildings, roads, and cement everywhere I look.  And for the most part, it is immaculately cleaned and cared for.  Even side streets. Every morning, the storefronts and sidewalks are hosed down and swept off.

Every single female wears heels and full makeup every day, no exceptions.  They are stunning, for the most part.  They work really hard for it, but the efforts are definitely not in vain.  The men wear suits and ties, mostly tailored with clean lines, expensive shoes, and leather briefcases.  The people are friendly, but deeply shy.  They stare when they think I am not looking.  I am always looking.  I cannot help it.  I make babies cry here, just by being.  The more grown up children apparently think I’m the shiz.  They run up to me and practice their English.  I made a business man walk into a column.  I’m not sure if it was in awe or in ugh.  I do get propositioned fairly regularly by foreign men in Roppongi.  My curly hair is cause for wonderment.  I’m not blonde, but my hair is light enough and different enough that I have felt a ‘ghost’ hand or two touch it at crowded street crossings.  Considering I am a full head taller than most of the females and a good many of the men, that is quite the feat.

I cannot iterate how bizarre it has been.

And yet I have settled into a life here.  I don’t miss work.  I hang out with Olive on a daily basis.  We walk the streets of Tokyo everyday.  We go to playgrounds and parks with no fear of crime or violence.  I forget to lock the door to my house sometimes and I’m ok with it.  I have left my purse sitting on a park bench, in a seat in a restaurant, and in a public bathroom.  It was either immediately returned to me or waiting for me untouched when I returned.  People are polite and kind to a fault.  If I didn’t miss my family so terribly, I could live here indefinitely and probably be healthier for it.

But I do miss my family.  I miss my friends.  I miss being able to read billboards and traffic signs.  Magazines and books, my most basic refuges, are all but denied me here.  If I didn’t have an Ipad, computer, or internet I would go nuts for lack of reading.  I miss being anonymous.  I miss belonging.  I miss twinkies and Target.  I miss wide expanses of green, growing things and dark, starry nights.  I miss my Mother’s face.  I miss driving my car.  I miss my home.

But I am here and here is just fine.


This. is. Japan.

I’ve been here 4 days or so and it’s still as surreal as the first day.  It is really and truly nothing like home.  And yet, it’s not uncomfortable.  Not knowing the language is a barrier, but it hasn’t stopped me from getting out.  Olive getting sick has taken care of that.  She is getting better slowly and steadily.  I am adapting even more slowly, but still steadily.

Here are some thoughts:

1)  I stick out.  Not as much as my daughter, but I get looks.  Not impolite at all.  Mostly curious and generally friendly.  Olivia is a smile magnet.  People love her.  LOVE her.  Little old ladies, teens, businessmen, families, kids, etc.  She is fawned over on a regular basis.  Something to note, the population here is largely skewed towards adults and the elderly.  Not many children at all and that is a nationwide issue.

2)  The view from our apartment is amazing.  Skyscrapers as far as you can see.  I cannot stress enough how big the city is.  To put it in perspective – we arrived at Narita airport and took a train in to Tokyo.  The train isn’t a bullet train, but it goes fast.  45-50+ MPH.  We were about an hour away from the heart of Tokyo.  We were in the city within 5 minutes of the trainride.  The rest of the ride was a concrete jungle.

3)  It’s safe here.  People are out walking at all hours of the day and night.  Families, women, and kids can be seen regularly out on their own in the streets and sidewalks.  No one thinks twice about it.  Except me.  I won’t be letting Olive out of my sight.  Not because I think anyone will do anything to her, but because I’m sure she would get lost in about two seconds.  No thanks.

4)  Sushi here is better than anywhere else.  It just is.  Yum!


Many journeys on the same path.

I have a job.  I start in about three weeks.  It’s the position I wanted, in the area of my main interest (Cardiac ICU), with the appropriate hours, and has a healthy payrate.  I am excited.

I am nauseous.

What… was… I… thinking?

Olive will have to go to daycare.  I won’t see every wonderful thing she does on a daily basis.  I will have to surrender her to people who will surely do their absolute best to care for her, but could never love her on such an infinite and overwhelming level.  She will cry.  I will cry.  I’m reasonably confident she will get over it.  I’m not sure I will.

I repeat – WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Oh yeah.  Those pesky little things called BILLS.  That silly business of the (no longer leaking – yay!) roof over our heads.  The new gutters being installed this coming Monday.  The exterior paint job looming in the distance.

I know, I know.  She’s going to do fine.  If anything, she’s going to love being around other kids on a regular basis.  Matter of fact, she will probably demand an explanation of why she was not introduced to this sooner.  And I will still get to spend loads of time with her, seeing as how I will be working three days a week, 7 AM – 7 PM and the occasional weekend.

But still.

What.

Was.

I.

Thinking?


No promises, people.

It’s been a bit since I’ve written.  It may be a bit till I write again.  Sorry, folks, the last few months have not been conducive to blogging.  That doesn’t mean that Olivia hasn’t been the most amazing, wonderful, smart, beautiful, talented, charming, loquacious, darling little girl in the world.

It means that there has not been time (or energy) to write it all down.

Seriously.

Here’s a smidge of what has been going on:

Hole in the roof.
Water through the DOWNSTAIRS ceiling.
Water through the bathroom walls.
Gutters and downspouts randomly giving up their rather tenuous grasp on life.

These and other things all lead to an estimated $17,000 repair bill.  What does that mean?  That means Momma (ie. Me) has to go back to work.  What does that mean?

STRESS!  *S*T*R*E*S*S

Granted, I had been considering making a return to nursing.  Olive is a doll, but could stand a little socialization.  She desperately wants to be around kids her age.  You should see her lunge at other (panicked) children while playing on the playground or shopping with her parents.  The child emphatically luvs other kiddos.  That eased my guilt/worry/must-never-make-a-mistake nature into believing she might enjoy daycare.  But there is a big difference in deciding to become a working mom and being pushed into it because the house might actually fall down around our ears.

Also, some of you might have noticed that there have been some global economic issues lately… some recession thingy…  that could make landing job a bit more difficult.

All of this to say that our posting is probably going to stay sporadic until all this evens out.  BUT, I am still plugging away with my cell phone camera.  I have pics from a couple of regular cameras that aren’t yet uploaded.  If nothing else, Olive’s adorable self will still be memorialized on our photo links for your viewing pleasure.


New and Improved! Now Rash Free!

Olivia’s rash is out of the picture.  I haven’t had to medicate her for itching in 3 days.  She no longer looks like a chemical burn victim.  If you stare at her calves long and hard, you might faintly detect the outline where the largest areas were.  Barely.  You’d need to squint and get uncomfortably close to a toddler’s derriere.

This is a mighty good thing for many reasons.  The foremost being that it nearly broke my heart to see her so uncomfortable.  It just about killed me to have my baby in pain and not be able to do anything about it besides dope her up and wait it out.  The thought of having to do so for weeks, possibly months…

<shivers>

The other great thing is that Olive is now healthy enough to attend a Mother’s Day Out Program.  She’ll get some socialization with other kids and I’ll have a regular block of time to myself!  Win-win all around.  I’ll be visiting the program this Friday (after a dental appointment…  :P ) to check it out.  I’ve already talked over the phone with the head honcho and the lady who would be Olivia’s teacher.  They were exceptionally nice and very enthusiastic about having her in the class.  As long as I like what I see, she’ll be starting come Monday.

………………………..

My dad’s birthday was yesterday, so….

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DA!


Triumphant return!

Hi there!  Remember me?  Susan, the slacker-blogger extraordinaire?  No??  I don’t blame you, people.  I’ve been a non-entity for a very long time now.

You see, I’ve been struggling with the “mommy” thing in the past few months.  It really threw me off balance.  I’m not a perfectionist, but I do demand the best of myself in the important areas of my life.  I’d say raising Olive to be a good person pretty much tops that list.  Unfortunately, a lot of other things had to fall along the wayside so I didn’t, oh I don’t know, RUIN THE BABY FOREVER.

I’m more zen about it now.

Sure, I still bust a freakout when I see her eat a dead bug, but I don’t hyperventilate when she eats a butt cheerio.  For those of you not in the loop (everyone), a butt cheerio is an errant cheerio that Olive pulls from under her heiney and pops into her mouth while I strap her into her booster seat.  Some of them are already half-eaten.  No big.

I am trying to focus on how happy she is.  I have to be doing something right, because my daughter smiles 99.9% of the time.  The other .01% she flings herself into piercing screams.  No one is perfect.

My new theory of parenthood is that if she’s smiling a large majority of the time and is reasonably healthy, I’m doing great.  And if I’m doing great, I shouldn’t feel inordinately guilty for wanting to have some time for things other than my outrageously cute daughter.  Like, say, my outrageously cute husband. Or my outrageously neglected social life.   Or a shower now and then.  (I’m not kidding about how much has fallen along the wayside).

Even the occasional blog post.

I’m not naive enough to believe that this new perspective will prevent all future blowouts regarding parenting vs. having-a-life.  But I am hopeful that it might keep me from becoming completely unhinged at the end of a long, long day.

Anywhoo, just wanted to say hi.  I’ve missed you.


Hale and Hearty.

We are all well.  Finally. <Applause, applause>

We had a wonderful Halloween.  Sandy came up to visit and see Olivia dressed up as a black cat (thank you, Richell, for the great costume).  The trick-or-treaters swamped us and I nearly ran out of candy.  There wasn’t much I could do in such a short period of time for decorating, but I put a light up pumpkin that belonged to Ian’s late grandmother, Dot, in the front window.  It was enough to bring in the sugar-seeking masses.

Olive is a climber.  She regularly scales the ottoman and Ian’s old toy chest.  Once on top, she paces in circles, laughing and pointing.  It’s hilarious… unless she falls.  She’s only taken two big tumbles and there weren’t any residual bruises or tears.  Really, they just served to make her more fearless, more determined.  More inclined to give Momma a coronary.

We have also started giving her whole milk.  There has been much trepidition on our parts in taking this step.  She had such trouble with breastmilk, along with Ian being lactose intolerant, AND the fact that neither my brother nor I were able to handle milk until well into our toddler years.  But she’s fine.  In fact, she rather loves it.  We don’t give her much, not even half a sippy cup over the course of the day.  We’ll be upping the ante very soon.

In other (happier) news, my sister-in-law, Richell, is pregnant!   Whooo-hooo!  Congratulations!  And my good friend, Shannon, is now expecting her second child.  Life is good.


Kiddo is a Sicko – Part II.

Olive has been battling her first cold.  This on the heels of me and Ian having whatever it was we had (stupid, crummy virus).  She’s been a trooper about it, though.  A sweet, snotty trooper.  Did I mention snot?  Lots of it.  Lots and lots and heaps and buckets and lots of it.  Seriously, I have no idea how such a tiny nose can produce that amount of mucous.  To quote a great line from a great movie, “Inconceivable!”.

The good news is… it’s almost run its course.  When I went to get her this morning, you could actually see her nose and not just a dried mass of goo.  Encouraging and far less icky.  It is important to note that Olivia absolutely hates having her face wiped.  You can see how this has been a problem for her in the last few days.  Poor thing.


Wait for it… Wait for it…

Ian is a sicko.

He never made it back to Nashville. He was, as you may recall, going to go back on Monday. When we talked that morning, he said, “I ache a little. Could be nothing.” At lunchtime, “Still aching. A little worse.” By dinner, “I ache. I sweat. And I have a fever.” His got as high as 102.6. There was one relatively restless night on his part and he was feeling better this morning. Minus (I might add) the raging sore throat that loved me so much I felt like I was having an affair with it.

But the fever came back. I could almost hear his inner monologue of “Curses, foiled again.” So he is at his parents and I am at my parents and…

I HAVE MY BABY BACK!

Not that I missed her. Not that I sent pathetic, whiny text messages to my beleaguered husband at 1 in the morning bemoaning her absence. Not that I cried because he was asleep and she was asleep and I was alone. Not me. Nope. I’m dignified, I am.

In other news, Amy and Garrett were gracious enough to take me in when I kicked myself out Matt and Richell’s house. (Sorry Richell, but there was no way I was risking your catching whatever crap that was). They were lovely and gracious. I had a home-cooked meal that I didn’t prepare and I watched a movie on the couch in wonderful company.

Then, to repay them for their kindness, I bestowed upon them my legendary bad luck with all things waterpipe and bathroom related. I took a shower. Glorious, steamy, and just the most delicious thing I have done for myself in about a week. It was good. It was doomed.

About halfway through, the local water company decided to do some routine maintenance in the neighborhood. They blew sewage up through their toilets and all over the floors. Then one of their cats drank and played in it. Then it ran around the house as I tried to catch it. Not just on the floors running around. No. On the kitchen counters. On the dining room table. And then it hid from me, the little bugger.

I did help clean up…


Susan is a Sicko…

We are in Chattanooga.  Geographically speaking, my family is in the same town.  However, I am with Amy and Garrett, Olive is going back and forth between her grandparents, and Ian is leaving for Nashville tonight.  What has us so scattered?  A teeny, weeny, virus.

We think.  Or the doctors believe it must be a virus.  All the tests for the normal stuff like strep came back negative and it’s really too early to have the flu (besides not having the right symptoms).  It must be something because you can’t have symptoms without a cause.

The symptoms?  Right, right.  Some aches late Friday afternoon that seemed to dissapear after a good long nap.  They came back with a light fever (99.3) on Saturday at around 5 PM.  By 9 PM, the fever was edging up to 103.  By about 10, it was 103.9 and I was racking with shivers and bone deep pain.  We went to the ER.  I was poked.  I was prodded.  I peed in a cup.  Fabulous.

There was nothing to be done beyond Tylenol and sleep.  And that’s what I have been doing.  Tylenol.  Sleep.  I miss my husband.  I miss my baby.  Thank God for family.


Kiddo is a sicko.

Teething = fever.  That’s just how she rolls.  She doesn’t have any other symptoms (knock on wood), but she is hanging around in the 100 – 101 degree range.  Tylenol works so much better than Ibuprofen at bringing it down.  She is also drooling so much she puddles.  Funny and, yet, ick.

Succinct little post, no?


My daughter HAD a mullet.

Had, people.  I cut it off.  I just couldn’t take it anymore.  Most of her hair grazes the nape of her neck, but in the back it went well below the shoulders.  No, no, no.  So while I was giving her a bath today, I did a few quick snips with some barber sheers.  And let me tell you, it looks so much better I’m kicking myself for not doing it sooner.  I’ll try to take some pictures after she wakes from her (sorely needed) nap.

Speaking of pictures, my amazingly talented, spectacularly beautiful friend Lesha just wrapped up Olive’s 9 month shots.  Here is the link:

http://www.lpimagery.com/gallery/6127083_nQfTS#385399491_Rt5eR


Da-da… the little traitor.

Her first offical word – Da da.  There have been many times when she has said words (like Ma ma, for instance), but you couldn’t say they were connected to a physical object.  No longer the case.  She loves “Da da.”  Now, she has said “Ma ma” and it is starting to be directly linked to me… but I am second fiddle.

Not that I’m bitter.  Not me.  No siree.

What?


Oh gosh golly!

She’s walking. Ok, not like full on, I-can-do-circles-around-mommy walking, but she took her first steps tonight. She held onto the ottoman and then stepped away toward me. It was amazing. Want to know what’s even more amazing? Ian had the camcorder ready and caught it. We should have the video up soon (read as within a few days, not a few hours… no one needs to wait with baited breath over the next few hours for that footage to show up here).

I’m super excited right now, but a tiny part of my soul is shrieking, “Nonononono” at high decibels. I’m smart enough to realize I’m going to look fondly back on these days of relatively easy seclusion. It’s a good thing I’ve started running again. Olive may be joining me shortly.


Happy Birthday to me!

I had a dinner/movie date with my husband… sans Olivia.  Much as I love my chubby, little cherub, I must admit it was sooo nice to not have her along.  (Teensiest bit of guilt saying that).  It was lovely to sit in a restaurant and talk to Ian without feeding/playing/consoling/cajoling the little girl.  We actually had time to discuss things that don’t revolve around teething or baby poo.  I felt positively cosmopolitan.  I even dressed up, did my hair (sorta), and wore makeup (again, sorta).  I wore heels.  It was divine.

Anyhoo, I’m 29.  Last year in my twenties.  Still feel about 17, only slightly more responsible (baby) but even less organized (again, baby).

Since I know most of the people who check this blog love me but retain Olivia and her doings as their priority, here is an update:

1)  She’s getting cuter by the minute.  Honestly, you’d think it would slow down.
2)  You can see her two front teeth on the top, but they haven’t yet broken the skin.  Poor thing.
3)  With the teething, she’s a bit more fussy and wakes up at least twice each night.
4)  She regularly pulls herself up to standing and is walking around the couch and ottoman.  That’s right, folks.  Walking.
5)  Whole lot of chatter going on.  Still mostly “Ba, ba” and “Da, da”.  Still no real connection to objects or people.  Yet.
6)  Her belly is starting to be ticklish.  Great fun for me, not sure she’s really enjoying it.  The laughter produced has a hysterical twinge, like her internal monologue is saying “It’s fun, but I’ll be darned if I know why.”


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 439 other followers